When I spoke to Alexis the first time, she shared her traumatic birth with me as if she was telling a story that wasn’t her own. She was guarded, goal focused on a VBAC, and maybe even a little angry.
She was also funny, madly in love with her children, her husband and I felt an immediate connection to her.
Alexis and I probably spoke 100 times even before her first prenatal. She was met with obstacles at every turn, but we navigated each one with grace and laughter.
When I met Christoper, Alexis’ husband, he was guarded as well. I remember thinking that I may be her only true support in desiring a VBAC, but as he trusted me more I realized that the previous birth wasn’t only traumatic for Alexis, but extremely traumatic for Christopher too. He was shoving cheese in mouth when he said “it’s a weird feeling to think the people you love could die and there’s nothing you can do about it”.
While I don’t think all cesareans are traumatic or need healing afterward, this healing needed to be a family event.
The birth would be slow, hard, and we would spend hours together. Alexis switched providers after a bit of urging and luckily they were extremely patient, because time was what she needed.
Sometimes the breakthrough in healing, happens during the birth. An undoing if you will, a questioning and a release of everything you thought this should be. I hate the word surrender, but in Alexis’ case that’s exactly what would need to happen.
She brought her beautiful baby earthside, with Christopher cheering her on and crying the whole way. We all sobbed a bit together, because this was more than just a successful VBAC, it was an absolute TRIUMPH.
I love this family a whole bunch and feel amazingly honored to not only be a part of this experience, but part of their extended family 💕
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